Dealing with online grooming
Online grooming is when someone builds trust and a connection to manipulate you into doing something sexual or illegal, often without you realising at first. It usually starts with someone being friendly and supportive, but over time they may begin to pressure or trick you into sending sexual messages, photos, videos, or even try to convince you to meet in person.
Grooming can happen to anyone, regardless of age, gender, or background, and it’s never your fault. The person doing the grooming could be a stranger, someone your age, someone older, or even someone in a position of authority like a coach, teacher or even boss. It can happen in many places online including social networking sites, messaging apps, chat rooms, dating apps and online games.
Signs someone might be trying to groom you online
Some signs someone might be trying to groom you are:
They send lots of messages often via different platforms
They ask you to keep your conversation secret
They ask you about your family or if anyone can see your chats
They start sending you sexual messages
They try to blackmail you into doing something you don’t want to do
Report it to The Cyber TipLine - Whether you are a parent of a child at risk, a child who needs support or a third party who is concerned about a child we strongly recommend that you visit The Cyber TipLine site now and report the issue. The Cyber TipLine is operated by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children in partnership with law enforcement agencies. You can also call them on 1-800-843-5678. The sooner you get the right specialist support the better.
What to do if you are being groomed?
Cut contact with the person - It’s really important not to delete or block the person straight away, as their messages can be used as evidence if you decide to report what’s happening. Blocking can sometimes increase the harms you are experiencing, as the person may escalate their behaviours to capture your attention. Instead, try to reduce contact as much as possible. Avoid replying to their messages, don’t share any more personal information, and never agree to meet them in person.
Save all evidence in case you need it - Where it is safe, keep a record of everything they sent to you. Take screenshots of messages, usernames, and dates in case you need to report the behaviour. Try not to reply to new messages, or share more photos, videos or personal details while you are collecting evidence. Keeping a record and not sharing more information helps protect you.
Keep your online profile as private as possible - We want to make sure the individual can’t find any additional information out about you online. Review your online profiles on social media and online games. Remove or change any information that gives away information like contact details, your location or any local clubs or teams you are a part of. Make any profiles private and don’t share location or any photos that might give your location away.
Tell someone you trust - If you feel it is safe, you may want to let trusted people know what is happening for support. A trusted person may be someone like one of your parents or carers, a teacher or a police officer.
Report it - Grooming is a crime and it will help if you go to the police and The Cyber TipLine. You may want to do this on your own or you may want to ask a trusted person to help you.
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