The Dangers of an Obsessive Social Media Follower: A Survivor’s Story
*Trigger warning*: sexual assault. — The survivor's story sheds light on how vulnerable we can become by sharing our daily experiences with a global audience. What starts as a seemingly ordinary situation—an admirer's interest in a young woman—swiftly transforms into a nightmarish ordeal that could have ended in a fatality.
We share this account with the aim of increasing awareness on cyber threats, to underscore the requirement for enhanced cybersecurity measures and preventative strategies.
In a quiet suburban town of England, the life of Penny (how we will call the survivor, to protect her anonymity), our protagonist, took a terrifying turn when a sinister online presence escalated from cyberstalking to a chilling encounter in the real world.
The ordeal began innocently enough when Penny started receiving messages from a random account on her public Instagram profile. She found this to be strange, so she blocked the account. However, she began to see that other accounts popped up, also sending strange messages and interacting with her content. She mentioned this to her family, and they all agreed it would be best to just block the accounts and ignore it.
The stalker relentlessly persisted through different accounts, making her life increasingly uncomfortable. Penny shared this with her friends and acquaintances, but the general recommendation was to brush it off. At this point, she decided not to change any settings on her Instagram, and continued posting about her day to day life.
If this seems familiar, if this is happening to you or someone you know, please consider:
Be careful with locking down your profiles, as this might escalate behaviours from the stalker. Reach out to The Cyber Helpline or other organisations providing cyberstalking support and get a risk assessment before making your profile private or hiding any content.
Be smart with what you share: think twice before you tag locations or people. Try to avoid information that could lead to your stalker knowing your whereabouts.
Every now and then, take a look at your privacy settings. Make sure that no unauthorised devices are accessing your accounts.
The situation took a terrifying turn when the stalker managed to uncover Penny's address. One day, a few weeks after the stalking incidents, as Penny and her brothers returned from a doctor's appointment, a strange man approached her. Unrelenting, he continued to harass Penny in a deeply unsettling and sexual manner. Fearing for their safety, Penny called the police, but the stalker resorted to physical violence and punched her in the face.
In a desperate attempt to neutralise the threat, Penny's brother grappled with the assailant, trying to pin him down. Hearing the commotion, Penny's father rushed to the scene. To the family's horror, the stalker revealed a shotgun from a bag he had with him. In the ensuing chaos, Penny's father, in a selfless bid to protect his children, suffered a life-altering consequence – two gunshot wounds to both thighs.
The stalker, realising the gravity of the situation, made a hasty retreat. In a desperate attempt to escape, he found a passing driver, and coerced them into providing a getaway. He managed to flee the scene.
Amongst the chaos, Penny was able to make a desperate call to the police. However, when law enforcement arrived, it was too late. It was only months later that justice caught up with the assailant, leading to a court trial.
Penny and her family managed to escape, but the trauma was far from over. In the months leading up to the arrest, Police cars stationed outside the family's home served as a constant reminder of the lingering threat. It affected when and if they went out, who they talked to, their trust and ability to go about their daily duties again.
Penny, deeply affected mentally, found herself trapped in a cycle of night terrors and paranoia. Every loud noise triggered memories of the gunshots, making it nearly impossible for her to venture outside. The once familiar places, like the local coffee shop and supermarket, became potential danger zones, as the stalker had followed them there.
At the trial, Penny and her whole family were exposed to the stalker once again, in the same courtroom, which was traumatising for everyone. All throughout the court process, the defence’s side fought the family and constantly tried to blame and shame Penny’s family in every possible way, which only added to the re-traumatisation and the difficulties they faced.
In a bid to regain a sense of security, the family made the difficult decision to relocate anonymously. The scars of this harrowing experience run deep, leaving Penny in a perpetual state of fear.
The mental toll on the family was immeasurable, with thoughts of "what ifs" and the ever-present fear that the ordeal might repeat itself. Penny's father, still bearing the physical wounds of the attack, struggled to resume his normal life, hindered by the bullets lodged in his legs.
Penny 's harrowing experience underscores the urgent need for awareness and preventive measures against the threat of cyberstalking. This journey from random acts of online harassment to a real-world violent encounter highlights the profound impact such incidents can have on individuals and families. It also makes us think about the interconnectedness of the online and physical worlds, which we typically rate as separate or of a different importance.
It is in fact crucial to be vigilant both in ‘real life’ and in our online activities, taking proactive steps to secure our online presence. The importance of privacy settings, responsible sharing practices, and regularly updating security measures cannot be overstated.
Fostering a safer online environment requires ongoing awareness of cyber threats, and continuous education (cyber literacy) on preventive and protective measures. We encourage every reader to share this with their friends, family and colleagues, in the hopes of preventing any more harrowing encounters such as this one.
If you are experiencing cyberstalking and you feel your stalker is escalating their behaviour, these are the steps The Cyber Helpline cybersecurity experts recommend:
Gather evidence: keep a record of everything odd or out of place. It’s about having the right info if we needed to go to the police, and to ensure prosecution.
Be careful with any sudden changes: typically, the recommendation would be to change your passwords, turn on all the security features you’ve got, and block stalkers. However, doing so could escalate the stalker's behaviour or lead to a loss of evidence. Unless you feel that the information the stalker is accessing is putting you at immediate risk, engage with experts such as The Cyber Helpline or a stalking service who can help you risk assess before you make these changes. Timing is everything.
Check for creepy tech: look for trackers or spyware. Consider getting a tech expert to help you. You can reach out to The Cyber Helpline for this.
Get the right help: you don’t have to deal with this by yourself. Reach out for support to organisations such as the Suzy Lamplugh Trust and consider getting legal support.
Clean up your online tracks: scrub away your digital trail to protect you going forward. Delete all posts that could harm you, and if there is any content out there, you can report it to social media, Google and the platforms where they’re hosted. If you’re in the UK, you have the right to be forgotten.
If you're a victim of cyberstalking, contact The Cyber Helpline for support: Get Help Now
If you want to learn more about how to protect your digital safety, you can access The Cyber Helpline’s free guides.
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