What is it like to be cyberstalked?

The vast majority of stalking cases involve the use of technology or the internet to either carry out stalking behaviours (cyber-dependent stalking) or facilitate the stalking (cyber-enabled stalking). Technology reaches every area of our lives and for those experiencing cyberstalking this often means no escape. The impact can be huge. 

At The Cyber Helpline we support all types of online malicious behaviour and cybercrime. Even with over 40 categories of issue we support, online harassment and cyberstalking account for more than 20% of the cases we deal with.

What makes cyberstalking unique?

Cyberstalking, the use of technology to carry out or facilitate stalking, is a term used to describe a number of digital harassment behaviours. These include spying on someone using the internet, contacting them online, finding personal information online, impersonating them online, sabotaging their devices with malicious software and tricking other internet users into harassing them online too.

The digital element does make the way the individual experiences stalking different. Some unique challenges in dealing with cyberstalking include:

Who is the stalker?

It is incredibly easy to hide your identity & location online. It can be straightforward to convince a victim that the stalker is someone close to the victim, but in reality, the stalker just has illegal access to private communications. This works the other way too, with those close to the victim able to pretend they are a stranger. This issue makes it difficult to risk assess a stalking case.

Is anything real?

Everything can be faked online. New identities can be created from scratch and completely fabricated. Close friends can be impersonated or their messages intercepted and deleted or changed. Online communications can be ‘spoofed’ where a messages looks like it comes from a legitimate email address or phone number, but is actually fake. This can make fact finding tricky and gaslighting easy.

What is normal online vs. malicious?

Very few individuals have a good understanding of IT and cyber security. This means that is can be very difficult for a victim to differentiate normal IT events from malicious events. Typically this leads to a state if hyper-vigilance where the victim believes everything is malicious and the stalker is able to use all technology as part of the stalking.

Different country?

The ability for the stalker to be anywhere in the world means it can be incredibly difficult to get local police engagement for the victim. The lack of police jurisdiction in the perpetrator’s area means police engagement often fades leaving the victim to fend for themselves. The ability hide location also makes it tricky to assess the physical threat for the victim.

Cyber trauma?

Many experiencing cyberstalking develop a fear of technology. They feel any technology around then could be watching or listening – or any interaction could give away information to the stalker. This ‘cyber trauma’ means that facing the cyberstalking by looking at online accounts and devices for evidence can be impossible. It is just too traumatic for the individual. The 24/7, always-on nature of technology in our society means that some become isolated and exhausted.

What is it like to experience cyberstalking?

74% of service users at The Cyber Helpline have been cyberstalked for six months or more. 23% for more than five years. The lack of police intervention means the stalker can carry out the stalking unchecked for a significant period of time.  

“My anxiety has escalated enormously since the weekend when I discovered that she was following my husband’s account, and today I have been unable to work. I feel sick and on high alert, and extremely fearful of what she will do, and on how long this will continue. I feel powerless.”

26% of users have no idea who the cyberstalker is and believe they have never met them. Bringing about a huge amount of uncertainty about where the stalker is and what the exact threat is.

“I'm extremely paranoid about devices with webcams and microphones”

The majority of cyberstalking service users at The Cyber Helpline have closed down their email accounts, shut down social media accounts, have created alternate online identities to hide from the stalker, they use public internet access at places like libraries and they have shut down their devices and are using disposable devices. Many feel that their work - or family & friends - devices have also been compromised.

“I'm being watched all the time 24/7”

The vast majority of service users have been to the police and worked with a stalking charity, however, the jurisdiction issues, lack of ability to gather evidence or just a lack of technological understanding by these organisations means they are either not believed, not investigated or given more generic advice.

All of these factors put a huge strain on the individual. When asked to score the impact of the stalking out of 10 in six key areas, the following was ranking:

  1. Mental & physical health – 7.4

  2. Day to day life – 7.1

  3. Impact on others – 6.9

  4. Online confidence – 6.3

  5. Personal safety – 6

  6. Financial – 5.1

All stalking cases can have huge consequences. Many victims have been murdered by their stalker – even after both parties have sought help to stop the stalking.

“Stalking is like slow murder. It is a terrible experience and one I felt I would never escape.”

For those that are experiencing cyberstalking, it is mental health and the impact on victim’s day to day lives that have the biggest impact. The stalkers ability to use the victim’s own devices & internet presence against them – as well as introducing malicious technology – traps the victim in a place where they feel they are at the stalkers mercy 24/7 and are isolated from everyone else. Having sought help and not made any progress, many feel this is a trap they will never escape.  

By injecting technology and cyber security expertise into cyberstalking cases, The Cyber Helpline has found it can help cyberstalking victims navigate cyberstalking and get back to a place where they feel they have security and privacy online. However, much more needs to be done to support cyberstalking victims and to bring perpetrators to justice.