Dealing with online grooming
What is online grooming?
Online grooming is when someone builds trust and a connection to manipulate you into doing something sexual or illegal, often without you realising at first. It usually starts with someone being friendly and supportive, but over time they may begin to pressure or trick you into sending sexual messages, photos, videos, or even try to convince you to meet in person.
Grooming can happen to anyone, regardless of age, gender, or background, and it’s never your fault. The person doing the grooming could be a stranger, someone your age, someone older, or even someone in a position of authority like a coach, teacher or even boss. It can happen in many places online including social networking sites, messaging apps, chat rooms, dating apps and online games.
Signs someone is trying to groom you online
Some signs someone might be trying to groom you are: sending lots of messages often via different platforms, they ask you to keep your conversation secret, they ask you about your family or if anyone can see your chats, they start sending you sexual messages, or even try to blackmail you into doing something you don’t want to do.
If you want to learn more about grooming, the Metropolitan Police website has clear information and links to further help. Young people can always reach out to Childline for advice and support. Adults who’ve experienced grooming can get help from organisations like SurvivorsUK, Victim Support.
If you are concerned about a victim of grooming, it is important to share your concerns with a service that can help them. You can contact your local police, or a dedicated service such as StopItNow! which can take your report anonymously.
What to do if you are being groomed
Cut contact with the person - It’s really important not to delete or block the person straight away, as their messages can be used as evidence if you decide to report what’s happening. Blocking can sometimes increase the harms you are experiencing, as the person may escalate their behaviours to capture your attention. Instead, try to reduce contact as much as possible. Avoid replying to their messages, don’t share any more personal information, and never agree to meet them in person.
Save all evidence in case you need it - Where it is safe, keep a record of everything they sent to you. Take screenshots of messages, usernames, and dates in case you need to report the behaviour. Try not to reply to new messages, or share more photos, videos or personal details while you are collecting evidence. Keeping a record and not sharing more information helps protect you.
Keep your online profile as private as possible - We want to make sure the individual can’t find any additional information out about you online. Review your online profiles on social media and online games. Remove or change any information that gives away information like contact details, your location or any local clubs or teams you are a part of. Make any profiles private and don’t share location or any photos that might give your location away.
Tell someone you trust - If you feel it is safe, you may want to let trusted people know what is happening for support. A trusted person may be someone like one of your parents or carers, a teacher or a police officer.
Report it to the police - Grooming is a crime and it will help if you go to the police. You may want to do this on your own or you may want to ask a trusted person to help you. You can go to your local police station, call 101 to report or use the CEOP website.
Get expert support if you are a child - There is lots of help out there and you don’t need to suffer alone. If you’re a child that needs support we strongly recommend that you reach out to ChildLine. There you will be able to talk with a dedicated Child Safety specialist who can guide you on safe next steps. If sexual images have been shared during your experience of grooming you can visit the CEOP site and report this. The CEOP site talks you through when to make a report, what happens when you make a report and how CEOP can help.
Get expert support if you are an adult - If you are an adult experiencing grooming you may find support from CAAGe who help protect people from adult grooming and help connect victims to the support they need helpful to you.
Tap into expert support
Below are a number of UK organisations that specialise in supporting grooming victims; some have already been highlighted throughout this guide. Consider working with one of them to get the help and support you need.
We want to better understand the impact of you experiencing this issue, can you share your experience by filling in this online form? This will help us better protect future victims.
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